This Might Get a Little Weird

As I was driving to work on I-15 this morning I was playing the old, "I'll pass you, you pass me" game with another car. You know, the kind that gets really awkward after the fourth time you pass one another. We've all been there. You fake like you aren't seeing each other but deep down you know he is there and you are just praying for a brake in traffic to put some distance between the two of you. In fact, I've gone as far as pulling off the wrong exit just to be done with it.

It's moments like this, (awkward one's,) that make our life interesting. Well, o.k. I realize there are a lot of things that make life interesting, but awkward moments certainly contribute, sometimes for good, others...not so good. Without them, however, things like a morning commute could get really boring.

When I arrived in Alabama to serve a mission for the LDS church a fellow missionary who was on his way home told me "a mission is two years full of awkward moments." Ironically enough, him telling me this was awkward because, as a young missionary, I was waiting for some inspiring follow up to that comment, but nope, that was it...."a mission is two years worth of awkward moments." Alright then, well... see you later. The truth is though, that advice applies to life in general. Life is full of awkward moments.

Working in sales I run into these every day. Sometimes it's me saying something like, "well, as long as the car you are trading isn't a "smoker car" I think we are good, not noticing the customers spouse waiting in the car with a cigarette in their mouth. Or, the occasion I put my foot in my mouth assuming no one likes a forest green car. Not true. A lot of people like forest green so I have learned if they are buying a forest green car, I can pretend to like it for a few hours.

My favorite, however, was one I was not directly involved in, I was simply an innocent bystander. A customer came in and was hovering around the showroom floor looking at what we had on display while they waited for a salesman to help. As the salesman approached the customer, who was reading the window sticker on our car, he said, "what can I help you with today sir." The customer turned and said in a stern voice, "Let's get one thing straight, I am not a Sir." That's awkward. In fact, that's awkward for everyone in the room.

Needless to say, she didn't buy a car that day but the laughs we had at the salesman's expense were priceless.

My kids put me in these predicaments on a daily basis. While shopping with my three year old she pointed at a man with two ear rings in his ear and said, 'boys don't wear ear rings. They are only for girls, huh Dad?" The gentleman waited for my response as I slowly back peddled out of the isle.

My five year old and I were driving home one night and stopped at a light next to a lady smoking a cigarette. Lucky for me the windows were down as she said, "ewww, that lady is smoking Dad." I shrugged my shoulders, made my best "Jim Halpert face" and prayed for the light to turn green.

If I try to turn a post about awkward moments into something inspirational it's going to get really weird so I guess I won't go there. However, my point in all of this is to take these moments for what they are worth. Appreciate them. If anything, they leave us with another story to tell.

Old Friends...New Lessons

I made a vow to myself that I would keep everything on this blog positive and optimistic. Most of what we read and see on the news today is negative. Yes, it's real and needs to be reported but we are constantly being reminded of how bad this world can be. Not that I am any type of credible source or highly rated site, I just wanted this to be an escape from all of the negative out there. I am prefacing this post with these words because the purpose behind my post today can be looked at as something depressing and rightfully so. However, my point isn't to put a damper on the day but to appreciate what we have, when we have it.

I ran into an old friend from high school today. I hadn't seen him for several years so we spent a little time catching up. He was here conducting a 401K meeting so our time was limited. However, in the short time we had I found out that his oldest daughter had been diagnosed with a very rare type of brain tumor. I am not sure the exact name or symptoms and I apologize for that, however, one thing was certain and that was she does not have much time left. A year ago she was playing soccer and today her movement is restricted to a wheelchair.

We spoke for a while and I struggled to find a way to offer words of comfort or encouragement. I was amazed at his ability to keep it together and stay positive. As I walked him to his car I found myself being inspired by him, rather than me offering the comfort. He kept telling me that, although difficult, the experience has been very spiritual as well as eye opening. Believe me, I know he would change it if he could but he knew it was no longer in his hands. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Zach. May we always remember those who are fighting similar battles every day.

The rest of my day was spent thinking of my own family. Thinking of how I can make more of the time I spend with my wife and kids. My wife and children are truly everything to me. It pains me to think of the minutes, hours and days I have wasted out of laziness or too much time at work, when I should have been spending it with my family. Would we all be lazy with our time if we knew the days with our family were numbered? You better believe I was beating myself up over the times I've sat in front of the TV ignoring the pleas from my little girls to come outside and play or the times I've been quick to replace a night with the family to play golf.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with taking time for yourself, of course there isn't. In fact, like most eye opening experiences, such as the one I had with my friend, we ponder, reevaluate and then life gets us back in our routines. And I think that's o.k. However, the lesson I learned from my friend was to always be conscious of where I put the family on my priority list. To always make sure my wife and kids know where they stand with me. To never brake the habit of my weekly date with my wife. (Although, it may sound selfish our weekly date is the highlight of my week.) I learned to go on one more bike ride with Halle before we get ready for bed. To read one more book to Marin and wrestle just a little longer with Drew. If there is one thing I want my children to remember of their childhood, it's that their Dad worshipped the ground they walked on.

Like I said before, may we all remember those whose days with their loved ones are being cut short. And may we do that by making the most of the time we have with ours.

Survey Says....I Can't Put it Together

My wife and I dated for nearly five years before we were married, so naturally, we knew a lot about each other. In fact, where some married couples learn a lot about each other their first months, even years of marriage, my wife and I really didn't have any surprises. However, I was guilty of a rather large secret. In fact, looking back, had she known this secret, I am confident she would have went a different route.

Now, I don't know for sure, but I imagine when a woman is searching for a husband, certain criteria has to be met. In fact, I know there is. I actually surveyed 100 woman and came up with the top five things women look for in their husbands.....alright, I didn't do any research or the conducting of surveys, I've just always wanted to say that. For five seconds you actually thought I was really going all out here.

Anyway, let me get to my made-up criteria.

1. Personality

2. Looks

3. Education

4. Work Ethic

5. Fatherly Potential

At this point my wife wasn't doing half bad. I consider myself to have a decent personality, although I do realize by writing this, I look pretty full of myself, but read on and you will realize there is a little humility there too. She looked beyond #2 as well as #3, banking on my Work Ethic and Fatherly Potential to seal the deal.

But she forgot about the ever so crucial, yet, often over looked, #6. The Ability to Put Stuff Together. Boy did I have her fooled. Looking back now, I can almost guarantee you my wife would sacrifice 1-5 for a quality #6.

On the surface, #6 may not sound like a big deal, but believe me it is. Let me give you a couple examples. When my wife and I moved into our home a few years ago her parents gave us a BBQ. There was only one problem, "Assembly Required." The box said "assembled in as little as 30 minutes." Now, when they say "30 minutes" that means, 30 minutes if you were born with a pair of pliers in one hand and a 35 page instruction booklet in the other, so I was counting on an hour.

Two hours into it I decided to chuck the instructions and go directly off the picture on the box. At this point my wife started feeling bad and told me to "just finish it tomorrow." I didn't have to say anything before she turned around, shut the door and flipped on the patio lights. I was in this for the long haul.

Long story, short, four hours and 350 swear words later the thing was working like a charm....just as long as you remember the lid doesn't shut all the way and on two of the three temperature knobs "high" is "low" and vice-versa.

My second example has a happier ending. First of all, Costco Wholesale is the Devil. No, I apologize, but really, Costco, do you have to display all the kid toys, etc. fully assembled? It looks so easy sitting there in display mode, all shiny and perfect. By the looks of it, the Airplane Teeter-Totter for six looked perfect for our sandbox. Also, by the looks of it, a guy like me could tackle this bad boy in a couple hours tops. Couple of red poles here, intersected by a few yellow poles. Throw on a steering wheel and that's a wrap. NOT EVEN CLOSE! I had to be three hours in with very little progress when my neighbor felt so bad he dropped everything to help me put this plane together. I found myself getting in his way as he flew through the instructions and install. In fact I was better fit to get him a drink or hand him a tool than I was helping put it together. He made more progress in 30 minutes than I did three hours and he did it with ease.

It was a humbling experience assisting my neighbor as he put MY kids toy together, but I learned a valuable lesson; When buying a home, find out how good the neighbor is at putting stuff together. You may look like an idiot asking, but trust me, if you are like me, it's worth it. Since the Teeter-Totter, my saint of a neighbor has helped...excuse me, put together a treadmill, trampoline, fixed a fence and the list goes on and on.

Whether the ability to put things together is something you are born with or something one learns with experience, it's just not happening for me. I must have skipped that step during the creation process and experience sure hasn't done anything for me. In fact, the only thing experience has done for me has led me to lose complete interest in attempting to put something together. In fact, as of this very minute, I have a kids play house and a basketball standard in my garage still sitting in their respective boxes. Chances are, until my neighbor asks what they are, they will be sitting there for a little while longer.

My Maiden Voyage

For the last year or two I have had this thought of writing a book. Weird, yes. Especially coming from a Community College drop out that sells cars for a living. However, before you click off the page, I should tell you I was the Sports Editor for the Community College Newspaper. See, suddenly I have a little credibility.

Anyhow, on to my book. I started thinking about it and realized the degree of effort, funding, oh and actual skill it takes to write a book were way beyond my capability. So I came to the conclusion that this, a blog, might be the way to go. It's cheap, yes, but it allows me to write as little and as often as I can. Besides, I started thinking, I have probably read 500 pages my entire life, so, unless a publisher would accept a 35 page book, double spaced with 24 point font, my book was a long shot.

The purpose of this blog is simply for me to have a place to write my thoughts on certain issues, or non-issues, as well as share the experiences life puts in front of me.

My hope is that I will put a smile on someones face every once in a while as well as a hope that someone, somewhere, nods their head in agreement with something I write down.

I am not a writer. I am not a politician and I have very little to no credibility in the world of blogging/writing. I am a car salesman, so please, take this for what it is worth.

Here goes nothing.